7 Things I’ve Never Understood About Americans
My perspective as someone who was raised in the U.S. by French ex-pats.
Growing up between two completely different countries is odd.
On one hand, it’s given me the unique opportunity to compare my family’s country to my foster country and meet people I would probably never have met otherwise, which is truly amazing. I also feel extremely blessed by God to be French and to have learned English so well.
But on the other hand, I often feel like, well, a round peg in a square hole.
For instance, when I’m in America, I’m considered French. But when I’m in France, I’m considered American. I’ve never completely fit in anywhere, least of all in the U.S. — which is odd, since I’ve spent a big chunk of my life there.
Here are the main things I’ve never understood about Americans (though don’t get me wrong, I love many of them to death).
1. Americans wear casual, cheap athletic attire and sneakers seemingly everywhere.
When I get off the plane after a trip to France, the difference between how the French dress and how Americans dress hits me like a cement mixer. Seriously. It takes my breath away because it’s such a huge difference.
I guess I’ve never really understood what’s so appealing about wearing skin-tight, lint-covered leggings (hello, panty lines), baseball caps, or super cheap sneakers — that were likely made by a twelve-year-old in some dimly lit factory halfway around the world — 99 percent of the time.
But that’s what I see most Americans wearing — in public! — at the supermarket, on a walk, in line at the bank, at a restaurant, etc.
It’s everywhere.
I must be missing something, but do comfort and cost really trump every other consideration in America? It’s never made sense to me.
Of course, America isn’t the only country where people wear the kinds of cheap outfits I described, but I’ve never been to any other country where it was so widespread.
2. Americans are really loud.
Here’s another thing that hits me like a cement mixer when I come from France, or Europe in general:
Americans are often so loud.
Just yesterday, I was visiting a cemetery and saw a woman talking on her cellphone so loudly that I heard almost every word she said as she passed, even though I was probably several hundred feet away from her. I half expected her to wake the dead.
And that’s just one example. I could bring up many, and I don’t know exactly why Americans, in particular, speak at such an elevated volume.
But I do have a few theories.
If you’re American, don’t hit me, but I think it might stem from some weird sense of superiority. I think the fact that you can’t listen to American politicians for long before they’ll start going on and on about how America is the greatest nation in the world might have something to do with it. Or maybe it’s just that many Americans aren’t very self-aware, like that woman who shattered my eardrums at the cemetery.
But what I know for sure is this:
America, as it is today, doesn’t deserve the title of ‘the greatest country in the world’, and maybe it never did.
It’s one thing to be patriotic, but I really wish Americans were more honest about their country’s significant problems and took steps to solve them, rather than teaching their children that America is some kind of model country. In France, no one dreams of saying France is number one, even though it has many things going for it (in my *ahem* extremely unbiased opinion).
3. Most American families don’t eat together around a table. Why in the world not?
When you grow up with traditional French parents, you’re almost guaranteed to sit down as a family to a three or four-course meal every single day. My upbringing was no exception.
Sharing meals is not just about eating well — it’s also about sharing news, future plans, and spending quality time together as a family. Studies are very clear on the benefits of this.
It baffles me when I visit American families and see one person absent-mindedly eating God-knows-what in front of a movie, another person eating chips out of a bag while super-glued to their phone, and another person looking through the fridge for leftover takeout while attempting to placate a crying toddler, type a work email, and have a conversation with the person who’s been monopolizing the bathroom for the past forty-five minutes at the other end of the house.
What kind of family life is that?!
Sadly, this lifestyle has become the norm in America; in fact, a recent survey revealed that less than half of Americans eat while sitting at a table now, and this has never made sense to me. Have people really become so busy that they can’t sit down and eat together, even just once a day? It seems so basic to me.
In the same vein, I’ve never understood how American parents prepare separate meals for their children and then complain that their children start demanding chicken nuggets and ice cream instead of nutritious food.
American parents, here’s an easy tip: If you want your child to eat spinach, serve them spinach when they’re in their high chairs — and for goodness’ sake, eat it yourself! Children imitate what they see, so use this to your advantage.
I’ll be honest: I didn’t spring from the womb with a passionate love for spinach — far from it. I despised raw spinach when I was a child.
But my parents knew it was good for me, so they served it regularly, without giving me the option to throw it on the floor and demand something else.
So, of course, I ate it. And now, I willingly eat spinach (even though, let’s be honest, it tastes like coarse grass).
Even as a busy family, my parents always insisted we sit down at 2 pm every day and eat a full meal together as a family, and I’m becoming more and more grateful for that as I get older.
4. Americans seem to love buying useless stuff they’ll never use.
Someone, please explain this to me. I simply don’t get it.
Even though Americans are obviously not the only ones who do this, I’ve never seen people so addicted to consumerism as they are in America.
I’ve heard people call it “retail therapy”, but it should be called, “How to commit financial suicide, feel terrible about yourself, fill your home and garage with things you’ll never use, and waste entire Saturdays of your life just to impress people you hate while contributing to massive pollution and exploitation worldwide.”
Am I missing something, or is the above picture as disturbing as it is accurate?
What’s the huge fascination with stuff? Do people really need another pair of cheap shoes they’ll wear once or another useless gadget that’ll break in three weeks and end up in the ocean or in a landfill? I didn’t think so.
In much of the world, people aren’t constantly buying things because (a) they don’t have room for more stuff in their often much smaller homes, and (b) they simply can’t afford random purchases.
Many people don’t realize this, but in places like France, people don’t generally have a ton of credit card debt for random stuff. They borrow money for huge purchases like homes, but otherwise, they usually live off their own money, not borrowed money.
In my opinion, only spending money that actually exists is a much, much healthier way to handle finances and leads to fewer impulse purchases.
5. Americans work obscene hours at jobs they hate — not because they need to but because they choose to.
Again, this phenomenon is sadly not unique to the United States. But when I compare how people handle work/life balance in America versus in France, it’s not even a far comparison.
In Europe in general, it’s clear that people care much more about relaxing and enjoying life than Americans, as a whole, do. I guess a lot of Americans would call that laziness. But I call it common sense. No one can pour from an empty cup, and there’s nothing laudable about working eighty-hour weeks just to earn more money.
Working an unfulfilling job for decades to buy extra things you don’t need (and contributing to the exploitation of grossly underpaid workers in the process) is a lose-lose situation, and I wish more people realized this.
6. In America, bigger is always better.
Over the years, I’ve noticed a drive in America to always go after something bigger, and this is yet another thing I’ve never understood.
From the absolutely gigantic food portions to the extra-large, gas-guzzling trucks and the huge, cheaply constructed houses with three garages, Americans have a fixation with sizing up in every possible way that often comes at the expense of quality. What’s the point?
7. Americans don’t seem to care much about other cultures or languages.
This is yet another thing that I don’t understand about Americans. I’ve traveled quite a bit in America over the years, but I think I could count the number of people I’ve met who speak a second language fluently on one hand (excluding those who grew up in a bilingual home).
Despite the fact that America has neighbors who speak French and Spanish, in my experience, even Americans who travel abroad make little to no effort to learn and speak the country’s native language.
One possible explanation I’ve heard for this is that, if you’re convinced your country is the best, (as many Americans grow up hearing over and over), learning other languages and exploring what the rest of the world is like can seem pointless. After all, other countries must be worse, so what’s the point of learning about them?
Sadly, I think there may be some truth to this hypothesis — although, thankfully, many Americans realize how absurd it is.
Meanwhile, European children are generally taught at least one other language besides their own, and this obviously opens doors for them that would otherwise remain closed.
For instance, one of my young cousins speaks English and German in addition to his native French, which means he’ll be able to travel internationally for work or leisure without having to worry too much about language barriers. That’s a beautiful gift.
The world is so full of different cultures and languages and sights and sounds that it saddens me to realize many people don’t have any curiosity or desire to look beyond their current reality at all.
Final thoughts
Now, I can hear you already: “That’s not what Americans are like at all! What are you talking about?!” Well, as someone who has straddled two countries my whole life, all the points above are an extremely accurate depiction of what I grew up seeing in America compared to France.
Don’t get me wrong, though — as I said at the beginning, I’ve grown to know and love many Americans over the years, and the point of this article is not to be critical. I just thought it would be interesting to explore a few cultural differences that many Americans may be unaware of.
Even though there are many things about the American lifestyle that leave me perplexed, here’s one thing I really do like and admire about Americans:
They’re generally so kind and friendly — even to complete strangers.
From holding the door to paying for a stranger’s medical bills, Americans have an international reputation for being kind. That inspires me.
Once, when I was a child, my parents’ financial situation took a turn for the worse; and, as immigrants, they didn’t have any family in America who could help them out. But they did have six kids to raise.
It was around Christmastime and we couldn’t even afford to heat our house, so everyone (including my mom, who was pregnant) wore sweaters and coats indoors.
But then, out of nowhere, people started helping us. They bought us a Christmas tree, gifts, food — they even took us kids sledding and took care of us when my father had surgery, free of charge.
Today, all these years later, I look back on this experience (and others) with awe. They warm my heart.
Yes, America is extremely different compared to France. And yes, a lot of things about the American lifestyle have never made sense to me.
But despite all that, many of the Americans I’ve met are incredible, large-hearted people. I’ve never had family ties to America outside my immediate family, but I’ll never forget the kindness that was shown us when we needed help.
Americans really are one-of-a-kind.
Thanks for posting your perspectives. Five years ago, LSD must have been put in the drinking water of most American cities because a large number of us went insane. Our passion for even minor celebrities, our belief in bizarre ideas (QAnon), and our hatred of science and reason were not a part of the landscape when I was younger. Before YouTube, social media, and other internet wonders we were simply a normal, messed up society like most others. The landscape has changed, and not for the better.